If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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