yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
