Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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