Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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