Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
