They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
