Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
