i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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