$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
