so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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