do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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