fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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