he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
