Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
