i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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