If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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