so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
