Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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