To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
