Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
