..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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