I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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