Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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