first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
