If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
