I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
