wrigley field is MILF paradise
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
