i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
