If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
false alarm. still invincible.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
