Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
