just survived the first fart of the relationship.
time to smoke my breakfast
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
