im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
farters have to be the big spoon...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
