loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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