The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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