please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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