walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
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no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Found the puke drawer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over