Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins