its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
