Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
