True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
