If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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