lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
