Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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