I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
