he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
