Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize