I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
