It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
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My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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