I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
