i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Randomize
