He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
