I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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