Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
foreskin is a definite game changer
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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