Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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