Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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