I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
