Christians are straight up FREAKS
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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