Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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