So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
