I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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