Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
