And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
