Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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