the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
