If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
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when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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