I got chris browned last night
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
