we made out on top of his cat.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
