Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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