Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
